"Sad Songs Say So Much"

Have you ever noticed how much more powerful sad songs are than happy ones? Don't get me wrong, I love a good pop song. On a beautiful summer day, there's nothing better than rolling the windows down and singing along to a Britney Spears or Taylor Swift song at the top of your lungs. And yet, turn on some Mumford and Sons or Civil Wars, and there is something that cuts deep into me, in a way that Britney and Taylor never could.

I'm not quite sure what it is, but a great sad song that breaks my heart can make me feel just as good--and sometimes better--than a fun, upbeat song. There's beauty and truth in sadness, I think. Happy songs often feel so generic to me, but many sad songs feel unique, and yet the great ones really touch on something universal. I think that's what makes them so powerful, when you can cut through to the heart of people, and find a way to tap into something everyone has experienced, but you have to look at it in a new light. 

I should say, I realize I may be in the minority in feeling this way. While I do love fun pop songs and silly, fun movies, my favorite books, movies, and songs are often dark and sad. I realize not everyone feels this way, and there are quite a few people who will very consciously avoid the things I seek out. But I love sadness and darkness and conflict. Because it's something that we all have in common. Yes, being confronted with that darkness in your entertainment can be difficult and scary, but it also makes you think and feel. And that's what I love about great art--happy, sad, and everything in between--if it isn't making you feel something, it isn't doing your job. 

One of my favorite dark/sad movies is Blue Valentine. I freaking love that movie. I think it's so well acted, and yes it is terribly sad. But it's so well done. And part of what's so great about it is how REAL it is. You can't help but watch that movie and picture yourself in the characters' shoes. What happens to them could happen to anyone. And it's scary to think that your marriage could take that turn, especially seeing how happy they were once. But the fact that you can see yourself reflected in them, even when their lives are very different than yours in many, many ways, is powerful. And I think sad movies and sad songs and sad books often do a better job of tapping into that universal human experience better than most happy stories do. 

Why is that? Is it because while we're happy it's great, but it's the pain in our lives that lingers? Does the experience of pain make it more memorable, even when it's gone? I know I tend to hold onto and dwell on negative experiences and feelings far more than I do positive ones. It's hard to try and remember a happy time when you're not happy, but it's often far easier to tap into a sad memory, even when you are happy. Those experiences are more vivid. So maybe that's why no matter how much fun I have bopping along to "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry, it's Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" that sends chills down my spine. 

Randomness: From Me to You

I've been in an irritable mood lately. I'm not really sure why, and I'm sure the problem lies within myself and not with the irritators, but that doesn't make the problem any easier to solve. Sometimes I feel like me talking/texting/whatevering is irritating another person, and then I'm annoyed that they seem to be annoyed for no apparent reason. And then I'm paranoid that I'm that friend that can't take the hint that they're annoying the crap out of another person.

So to my friends who may or may not be reading this - DO NOT LET ME BE THAT ANNOYING FRIEND. And please, tell me if I am. I will try to change it. I promise.

In other news, I have recently been paying far more attention to Twitter than I ever have in the past. While I still don't fully understand it (and a part of me doesn't know if I really want to anyway), it does keep me in the loop of people who I admire but do not actually know much better. Like, while I already knew that the YA mafia was in existence, to actually see all of my favorite authors posting amusing things and conversing with each other on Twitter is highly entertaining. And almost makes me want to be a part of their world. Guess that means I should write something outside of this blog....

Part of my issue with Twitter, though, is that I write very little that is original, opting instead to re-tweet clever things from other people. But really, other people have far more interesting things to say, so I feel I'm doing my duty by sharing them. My dream is to tweet a celebrity I admire one day and actually get a response tweet back. Has not happened yet. Probably won't. But a girl can dream.

School is back in session all too soon for my liking, and as work and other things are taking up far too much of my time, I feel like all of the productive things I wanted to do over my summer break will not happen. I've tried to be good this week about putting writing time in, but this weekend will pretty much be shot, what with wedding showers and book club meetings and movie outings (Ruby Sparks is necessary, okay people? IT IS!!!) it will probably be a very unproductive weekend on the writing/creativity front. Such is life.

And with that, I bid you adieu for today (since I've been in a French mood lately), and will hopefully not  be too much of a stranger...

Procrastination Evaluation

I haven't written in awhile, even though I've wanted to. Lately I've been going through one of those phases where, at least a few times a day, I want to write. I feel that creative streak threatening to burst out of me while I'm driving, while I'm in the middle of a project at work, while I'm in the middle of doing something that does not allow me to be in front of a computer putting words on a page. And then when I do get home and have the time to record some of those words threatening to burst out of me, they decide not to burst anymore and my lazy ass watches TV instead. It's a problem, and I'm not sure how to fix it.

Case in point: I recently joined HitRecord.org the other day with the intention of actually starting to contribute to it, rather than just browse through all the incredibly creative things that people on there are creating. And while Patrick would tell you that my only reason for joining is my Joseph Gordon-Levitt obsession, that's not the full truth. Sure, I may have been led there initially because I had seen him talking about the site, and I've bought a couple of books from there to see what kind of things have come out of it. But the real reason I joined is that it's the kind of creative community I would like to be a part of. I noticed while browsing through the other day that a few weeks ago they started a free-write kind of exercise, and every week the theme of the 10-minute free write changes. I had seen this while at work, and obviously couldn't participate while working, so all day I thought about the word they had chosen for the week, and what I could think of to write about it. You may think this is cheating, since it's a free-write, and the whole idea is NOT to think too much about it. It didn't matter that I had the greatest first line to start out the exercise anyway, because by the time I was home with my laptop opened in front of me, the cursor blinking against the white screen, I couldn't remember any of it anyway. That great line I had had? Gone. And in it's place, there was blankness and then a few minutes of me writing something I never expected to write. Which is okay in its own right, I suppose. But it's a great illustration of my problem. My great ideas, had throughout the day when I can't be writing, are gone the minute I sit down to write.

I know I'm not the greatest writer in the world, and that I have a long way to go if I ever hope to make anything of my writing. For one, I need to be a bit more proactive, and find less excuses to do anything else. I almost think my procrastination stems, at least in part, from this idea that my efforts are never going to lead to anything anyway so why really take the time to foster these ideas. And I know, no risk, no reward, so taking a risk and making the effort has to come first. I know there are no guarantees in life, but honestly, that's starting to piss me off. I work my ass off every day to try and make mine and Patrick's lives better, and most of the time I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I don't know that I'll ever get close to any of my "dream" jobs one day, and most of the time I'm so busy trying to keep up with the job(s) I have, I don't have time to worry about it anyway.

This has gotten a little off-topic. If there was ever a topic in the first place. I guess the point is that I know I need to just shut up and write. Whether it's here, the novel that I've started and may never finish, on HitRecord...whatever. I just need to write, right? No risk, no reward. So, maybe I'll post this and try taking another risk, rather than getting sucked into a Project Runway marathon...