Let's see, let's see, how to start today's blog? You know, I noticed today, not for the first time, that my writing process is not really ideal. Often, when I decide to write, it's early in the day, like when I'm at work. It's in some place that I am not physically capable of posting a blog entry or adding a new chapter or whatever the case may be at that particular moment in time. And yet the desire to write stays with me all day. At work, in my car, in the shower, I'm thinking of all these great things to write about, what I want to say, some message I want to get across. And then finally comes the moment when I get to actually sit down to write and...all of those awesome words are gone. Maybe this means they only seemed awesome in my head? Maybe it means I need a better system of jotting down notes throughout the day? I don't know, but regardless...it can really be a pain in the ass sometimes. And it's not what this blog is going to be about today. At least, that's not my intention. So let's try again...
We are now a full week into February. And what a week it's been. Snowmageddon 2011 hit in full blast right as February rolled in and a week later I still don't quite feel recovered from it. Especially not with more big, fat snowflakes floating down outside my window as I write this. Anyway, now that we're into February, post-Superbowl, pre-Valentine's Day, the New Year seems like it was rung in so long ago. I've noticed with my friends and family, those New Year's Resolutions they were so adamant about keeping have become much less important now that that New Year Optimism has kind of faded. Not that this is anything unusual. It's kind of part of the routine of things every year. I've been guilty of it myself pretty much every year. But still, I think it's kind of sad. Because sometimes it seems that it's not just the resolution fading, but the motivation to stride towards something greater for yourself. I know that's been the case with me. I want so much for myself but sometimes I'm great at talking myself out of doing what I need to do to achieve it.
I know that my own attitude since the new year has changed somewhat in the last month, at least as far as my resolution and goals are concerned. In retrospect, I think saying that I would write every single day was a little bit lofty of a goal for myself. Especially when I take into account the fact that two days of the work I leave the house before 7am and don't get home until almost 11 at night. While I'd love to be able to say that there's time to fit writing in there, there really usually isn't. And as much as I'd like to find the time for it in those busy days, the only thing I can usually think of by the time I get home is going to bed so I can face the early morning that awaits. So saying I would write every single day was kind of setting myself up for failure from the starting gate. But that being said, my goal for the year remains pretty much the same. I want to write. I want to do it regularly, and I don't want to let it fall by the wayside like I know I've done in the past. It means too much to me to just give that up, and the older I'm getting the more I'm realizing that, wherever my life and career takes me, however off-course or unexpected the path may turn, I can't lose that part of myself. So no, I might not write every single day, but as long as I can keep writing regularly, both here and on my own personal project, I can feel like I am accomplishing something and being true to myself.
On a slightly unrelated note (although in my jumbled head they are connected) I realized today, again not for the first time, that I really need to work on certain areas in my life that I hold bitterness and resentment. There are certain people and things in my life that, when I encounter them, have a tendency to elicit a very negative reaction from me very quickly. I don't want to be angry or bitter, because I know it's not healthy. And yet, at the same time, some of those feelings are what push me to achieve things for myself. Which I know is also not healthy. Anyone have any ideas on how to work on this? Sometimes I think I should take up meditation or something, but 1) I don't think I have the patience for that, and 2) Who really needs mediation when there's Glee? I don't know how I'm going to work on this, but hopefully I'll find a way because life's too short to be angry like that, right?
Finally, on a COMPLETELY unrelated note...while I know what I am about to say skyrockets my nerd-dom to new limits, I have to say one of my latest obsessions is the show Dr. Who. It really is a good show, but even more than that, it led me to discover the absolute wonder that is David Tennant. I honestly adore him, more than I think any other actor, at least in recent days that I can think of. And when I say I adore him, I don't mean in the same way I adore Tim Riggins or Zac Efron, or even the very talented (in my eyes at least) Ryan Gosling. Watching him on Dr. Who has put me in complete awe of his talent, honestly. I have never been so amazed and impressed by an actor ever. He is able to convey so many emotions so well, and often at the same time, that it's just incredible. While I know any of you who do happen to read this blog are probably shaking your heads and laughing at me and will NOT do what I suggest next, I'm going to say it anyway. PLEASE watch the show. Yes, it's sci-fi. And yes, some of the sci-fi stuff can be over the top. I'm not going to lie about that. But it's so worth it just to watch him in action. Don't bother with the first season. Start at least with the second and if you want some REALLY awesome stuff, just check something out from season 3, which was pretty much golden. Please, just ONE episode. I'll even recommend a specific one for you if you'd like!
Anyway, enough of my plug for the day. Signing off for today, but not forever. Because even if no one reads this, that's okay---I'm going to keep writing, just for me. Anyone who IS reading this...I love you, and hopefully I don't bore you too much!
**Title quote taken from--what else?--Dr. Who! Kind of a good description of life, though, don't you think?
