Friday, February 8, 2013

If You're Crazy and You Know It...

So, this picture has been floating around the interwebs this week...


and it couldn't have crossed my path at a more perfect time, as this sentiment is one that's been on my mind lately, though I think Amy Poehler puts it more eloquently. And, of course, I am no comedienne. And yet, I can relate. Here I am, facing the last year of my 20s, and I'm not even going to pretend I have it all figured out. I clearly do not. I'm muddling my way through school, trying to clean up financial messes from years ago (will they NEVER go away???), and not sure what my long-term career aspirations are. There are still a lot of things in my life that need some figuring out and fine-tuning. But I know this: I am okay being me, even if that means I look silly sometimes. Don't get me wrong. I'm not immune to what others think of me, and I definitely want them to think well of me. I want to be respected professionally, and I want friends and family to be proud of me, and able to depend on me. At the same time, though, the older I get, the more I've realized it's okay to embrace who I am and the things I love, even if others think it's embarrassing or childish.

I love music. All of it. From Hanson to Blake Shelton to Dawes to Britney Spears to Mumford and Sons to Mariah Carey to the Temptations to Bon Iver...and on, and on and. And I'm not ashamed of any of it. I will never be ashamed of my love of Hanson, no matter how much you make fun of me for it or how to shame me out of it.

I love singing out loud, and dancing along to my favorite songs. In the shower, in the car, at home as I serenade Patrick to "Some Nights" by Fun., it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I can't sing OR dance, I enjoy it. And you can't make me embarrassed by rolling your eyes as I make a fool of myself. In fact, that will just encourage me to make you join me. Yes, I will pretend I am Britney Spears as I dance along to Just Dance 3. But, you know, before she went crazy.

I love TV and movies, and think watching them is a worthy use of my free time. I love depressing movies. Blue Valentine? Loved it. Own it. Also, anything set in a mental asylum is right up my alley. I've always been drawn to the crazies I guess. I'm seriously starting to think Ryan Murphy just gets me.

I'm proud of my movie collection, despite the fact that it has surely contributed to aforementioned financial troubles. And despite having a better movie collection than cable, I still need cable. Yes, HBO and Shotime are THAT important. I mean, seriously, how can I possibly be expected to live without Game of Thrones or Californication? I can't. And I won't.

I fully embrace my celebrity obsessions, and remain loyal even after the intensity fades. And I do my homework. Need to know Topher Grace or Joseph Gordon-Levitt's back catalogues? Because I can inform you. And probably own most of them. We can have a Katy Perry dance party anytime.

I will never deny myself the pleasure of dessert. Life is too short to skip the cookie, and there are not much better things in life than a bakery tour that includes Sprinkles.

I am okay sitting at home on a Friday night. And a Saturday night. Wanting to stay at home doesn't make me antisocial. Or maybe it does. I'm still okay with it. There aren't many better ways to spend a night than cuddled up on the couch with my husband and my cat and a good movie on TV.

I love Young Adult literature. And that doesn't make me juvenile, or "less than," or dumb. I would be proud to be able to call myself a YA author one day. Anything that puts me in the same category as John Green and Maureen Johnson and Maggie Stiefvater and Sarah Dessen is absolutely okay in my book.

I am fiercely loyal to the ones I love, and if you hurt them, there's a good chance I will never forgive you. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have I love dearly and hold close to my heart. I don't always see them as often as I'd like, but I'd do anything for them.

I can hold a grudge, and it takes me a lot longer to forget than to forgive. Forgiving can take some time too. I have high expectations for both myself and others.

I can be a little OCD and more than a little germaphobic. I don't think it's weird to wash your hands before touching food, and I'm not entirely comfortable with communal food days. That's okay, more for you.

I love butterflies and giraffes. I don't know why, I just do. I have a giraffe hat, and giraffe Mickey Mouse ears (thanks Steph!), and I love wearing both. I don't care if you think I look silly. Looking silly and not caring gives me power, remember?

I might not know everything about where I want my life to go, or the ways in which I will change along the way. I don't know what the future holds, and I only have a vague notion of what I would like for it to hold. But I do know the above things about myself. And I'm okay with them. I'm not perfect, and you will never hear me claim to be. But I know who I am, and I embrace it, and I can only hope knowing these things about myself will help me get to the places I want to be.

1 comment:

Destiny said...

First off, LOVE! And mad respect to the singing even of off key... I so do that, all the time.
And as I read your post I have the song Sugar High from Empire Records playing, another reminder that being yourself and unashamed is a good thing. We are all freaks in our own right, and I say bravo for owning your quirks!
I love all those things about you. And I love how you love the color blue so much, and how we can not see each other for years, be together for five minutes and be laughing hysterically! And I love that even though I was that weird girl in the chair in Jr high you still became my dearest friend.
I am glad you are being proud of what makes you amazing. It's inspiring.
And btw, I will never cease teasing you about Hanson, lol. And I still love spice girls, Dammitt!
So in conclusion, you go girl!
Xoxo