Unfortunately, I don't have any specific goal in mind for writing today. I just knew that it had been awhile, and that writing was in order. So, this may be slightly rambling and nonsensical (or at least moreso than usual) but I'm going to move forward anyway.
I'm sitting at home on a warm but slightly overcast Sunday afternoon, listening to Ryan Bingham (the cute genius behind the Crazy Heart theme song, in case you didn't know), uploading some CDs into itunes and feeling overall kind of...blah. It's one of those phases that will inevitably pass, but that has lingered for a few weeks now, for no particular reason. You would think the promise of Spring being just around the corner, and the few glimpses of it that have already appeared a few times now would help keep me upbeat, but it really hasn't. And again, I don't know that there is any particular explanation for it. Things at home are pretty good, family and friends are overall pretty good, work has been fine--there's really nothing to cause it. Despite that, though, I find myself feeling kind of disconnected from people and things from time to time. Having no reason for feeling that way doesn't really make it any easier to NOT feel that way, but I guess it's good to acknowledge it at least, right?
I know one thing that has been on my mind is my family. Over at my parents house, a war is being waged daily, and it's one that I can't seem to help make better. I hate seeing what they are going through every day, and knowing that there is nothing that I can say to make things better, or provide a wake up call for the situation. All I can do is kind of be here. It's just been extremely frustrating to know there's really nothing that I can do, and that my stepping in or saying certain things that I would like to won't make the situation any better.
Anyway...on a more positive note...my trip to New York is getting closer everyday! It's crazy, because it feels like Stephanie and I have been talking about this trip for SO long, that I can't believe it's finally actually so close. Our agenda seems to get larger every day, and I owe Steph in a MAJOR way for being the one who has taken care of all of the bookings and practical parts of the trip so far. Part of me feels guilty for going on such an indulgent trip, especially when Patrick will be at home and we haven't actually gone on a trip like this together ourselves yet, even. And since I know the money could be going to bills and things more practical. But at the same time, I know it's a GREAT opportunity, one which I've never allowed myself before, and Steph and I will have tons of fun. I've been busy trying to read everything I can by authors I haven't read before, so if I meet them during the trip I will actually know what they've written. All the reading might be something contributing to the lack of writing on my part, now that I think of it... I'm just really excited about the whole trip.
I wish I more exciting or thought-provoking things to write about, but it's just not there today. I think I'm going to wrap this up now, rather than rambling on more about nothing at all. I just wanted to show you all that I do still exist, and while I've been slacking, the blog is not forgotten!
1 comment:
You're going to have so much fun in New York!! It's so worth it to go! :)
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